If God has called me to be really like Jesus He will draw me into a life of crucifixion and humility, and place upon me such demands of obedience, that I will not be able to follow other people, or measure myself by other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to allow others to do things which He will not let me do. Other professing Christians, who seem very sincere and useful, may promote themselves, pull strings, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but I cannot do it, and if I attempt it, I will meet with such failure and rebuke from my Lord as to make me sorrowfully repentant. Others may boast of themselves, of their work, of their success, or of their writings, but the Holy Spirit indwelling me will not allow me to do any such thing, and if I begin it, He will lead me into some deeply humbling circumstance or experience that will make me despise myself and all my good works.
Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, or may have a legacy left to them, but it is likely God will keep me poor, because He wants me to have something far better than gold – a helpless dependence upon Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying my needs day by day out of an unseen and unlimited treasury. My Lord may let others be honored and put forward, yet keep me hidden in obscurity, because He wants to produce through me some choice fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others be great, but will keep me small. He may let others do a work for Him and get all the credit for it, yet He will make me work on without knowing how much I am doing; and then to make my work still more precious He may let others get credit for the work which I have done, and thus make MY REWARD TEN TIMES GREATER WHEN JESUS COMES.
The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over me, with a jealous love, and will rebuke me for little words and feelings or for wasting my time, which other Christians never feel distressed over. I must make up my mind that my God is an Infinitely Sovereign Being, and has a right to do as He pleases with those who belong to Him. He may not explain to me a thousand things which I do not understand in His dealings with me, but if I will absolutely yield myself to be His love slave, He will wrap me up in His jealous love, and will bestow upon me many blessings which come only to those who are closest to Him. I must settle it once and for all then, that I am to DEAL DIRECTLY WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT, and that He is to have the privilege of silencing my tongue, or tying my hands, or closing my eyes, or ordering my daily living, in ways that He does not seem to use with others. Now when I am so possessed with the living God, my Creator and Redeemer, that I am, in the innermost part of my heart, both pleased and delighted with this unusual, unique, and unlimited GUARDIANSHIP AND MANAGEMENT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT OVER MY LIFE, then I will begin to experience on earth the atmosphere of Heaven.
-by G. D. Watson (1845-1924)
-adapted by D. McClain for Camp YES (2012)
